


And Again, And Again

by sweetsymphony



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Baby Niall, Child Abuse, Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-16 17:19:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1355485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetsymphony/pseuds/sweetsymphony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Family: People you love and love you back, not neccessarily blood or biological, but you trust them and they trust you, and they take care of you and you take care of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They’ve been trying to adopt for over a year, and Harry knew, he knew, that it would be hard, but he didn’t know just how discouraging the overall process could be. He and Louis have been together for seven years and married for nearly five. Louis teaches second year in school, and Harry is a producer for an indie music label. They’ve got a nice sized two-bedroom, two bath flat in London, and a decent amount stashed away for rainy days: all in all, they live rather comfortably. They’ve been waiting for about fourteen months when Louis finally breaks down and decides that maybe an adoption just isn’t in the cards for them.

That’s when they get Niall. 

Louis is twenty-eight and Harry is nearly twenty six, so they’re not exactly crazy kids in love anymore, but that doesn’t stop them from getting quite sappy when the mood hits, and usually it hits around Christmastime. Their flat is all done up, with a tree practically drowning in tinsel and mistle toe hung every three feet or so. Louis is adamant about hanging up the drawings his students made for him, so vaguely demonic images of snowmen and Santa Claus are hung enthusiastically around the room. Good intentions, Harry thinks, but sometimes when he’s up for a glass of water in the middle of the night he can’t help but get spooked by a particularly creative drawing of an elf with red eyes and candy cane fangs. 

Louis loves to celebrate things, Christmas especially, so the entire month of December is spent with festive cookie decorating parties and spontaneous ice skating trips. This year more than ever, because they were both desperately hoping to have a child by Christmas and it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen, so they try to forget by being as busy as humanly possible.

It’s December 19th when a sharp knock at the door startles Harry off the couch, where he and Lou were lazily watching Miracle on 34th Street for approximately the hundredth time. It’s not very late, only half past nine, but it’s still unusual for them to get visitors at this hour, especially unexpected ones. 

Louis groans from where he’s sprawled out across the couch cushions and buries his face into a pillow “Leave it Haz. It’s probably Mrs. Dabney from two doors down again. Old hag is still wants your cock.” He snarls bitterly, voice muffled by fabric. And Harry laughs at that because Mrs. Dabney is maybe older than Louis and Harry combined, but that doesn’t stop Lou from insisting that she’s desperately trying to steal Harry away. 

“Your silly.” Harry presses a kiss to Lou’s temple before straitening his wrinkled white t-shirt and running a hand through his unruly curls.

It’s not Mrs. Dabney behind the door; it’s Eleanor.

Eleanor Calder is absolutely lovely, she’s only been a social worker for a few years, but she’s still very cheerful and kind, and Harry is incredibly grateful they got put with someone so wonderful. El has been working so hard for so long to get them a child, and despite all the difficulties they’ve faced she’s still convinced that it’s only a matter of time. Though tonight she doesn’t seem her normal jolly self. She looks harried and stressed and absolutely on the verge of tears, though she offers Harry a timid smile when he opens the door. 

“Harry, I need a favor. A very, very large favor.” And curled around Eleanor’s leg is a very, very tiny body, with a pair of big sleepy cerulean blue eyes and a tuff of white blond hair. “His name is Niall, and I need you to take him.” 

\---  
Niall is five, according to Eleanor, though he looks about two to Harry. He is incredibly small, and pale, and he falls asleep almost immediately as they sit on the couch, his face buried in Eleanor’s side. 

“He’s had a rough day. I’ve been trying to get him a spot all night, but all the good foster homes are always full during the holidays and I’m not going to send him to one of those centers for even one night. You two were the first people I thought of.” She strokes his soft blond hair and gives them a watery smile. “He deserves to be somewhere decent for the night.”

“But El, we’re not foster parents.” Louis says softly and he’s gripping Hurry’s hand so tightly his knuckles are turning white. “Are we even allowed to-”?

“You’ve done all the paper work. It’s only for a few days Lou I promise. I know he’s a bit older than you were expecting, but think of it as practice run. I know we’ll find you a baby Lou, but Niall’s a good boy and in the meantime, he really needs a place to stay.”

It’s impossible to argue with her earnestness or the very sleepy little boy that’s wrapped around her arm. Niall is probably one of the most adorable children Hurry’s ever seen. His blond hair is messy and so bright it’s nearly white, there is a smattering of freckles across the bridge of his button nose, and his pink heart shaped mouth is naturally pouted in sleep. He looks like one of those little cupid babies in the paintings. 

“What’s happened to him?” Harry asks, because Ell’s never looked quite this disheartened before and he knows that there has got to be a good reason for her late night distress. Her normally smooth chocolate brown hair is in disarray, and there’s a dark smudge of eyeliner around her sharp hazel eyes. 

“A neighbor called it in. Says she hadn’t seen the boy’s father in a few days. Turns out he left Niall and his older brother Greg a week or so back.”

“How old is his brother?”

“Twelve” The look on Eleanor’s face is absolutely miserable by now “I tried to keep them together, I really did. But apparently Greg’s been in and out for trouble already so they shipped him off to some detention center in Doncaster before I had the chance to do anything.” She swipes at her eyes angrily “Another child lost to the fucking system. Like it’s his fault or something.” She gets her voice back under control before continuing. “After their parents divorced last year, the court awarded custody to their mother Maura, but she died of overdose a few moths ago. Then they came to live with their father Bobby and he-“ she cuts off again shaking her head violently. “Lets just say if I ever come face to face with Bobby Horan, you’ll have to hold me back.” 

“Abuse then?” Louis questions, pale-faced and obviously worried. “He shows signs of it.”

“Fucking tortured is more like it. He and his brother were littered with bruises and there wasn’t a drop of food in that rat infested flat. Poor thing won’t even talk, and Greg was absolutely feral when we found them. Came at our guys like a wild animal. I’m surprised Niall is as sweet as he is. Listens to every word you say. Probably the most passive child I’ve ever dealt with, especially in his circumstances. Usually they’re very violent.”

Harry looks down again at the peaceful child, nestled into Eleanor’s side. He finds it hard to believe that anyone could ever hurt someone so small and innocent. 

“What’s going to happen to him.” Harry directs his gaze back up to Eleanor, squeezing Louis’s hand a little tighter.

“I’m trying to track down a blood relative. Right now it looks bleak. Hopefully I’ll be able to get him into a halfway decent foster home by Christmas though. Maybe arrange for him to see his brother. I really hate separating siblings like that.”   
Louis and Harry share a long, contemplative look, the kind that only comes from being with someone for seven years. 

“Of course we’ll take him El. Until you can find him a good, proper home.” Louis says finally, giving her a small smile, and placing his free hand on Harry’s knee. He directs his gaze down to Niall and sighs a little. “We can do this. I don’t know how, but I know we can.”

\---  
The spare bedroom is all fixed up, but it’s not exactly child ready. There is a crib still in all its packaging in the closet and a perfectly made full size for guests, but Harry doubts Niall would be comfortable in either. Eleanor sticks around just long enough to explain the situation to a very sleepy Niall, before kissing the top of his head and hurrying out in a flourish of promises to drop by tomorrow. 

Niall hasn’t got much. Just a ratty Power Rangers backpack with two sets of clothes, one set of PJ’s and a worn teddy bear that he’s been hugging tightly to his chest since he woke up. He’s potty trained, thank God, and doesn’t protest when Louis informs him that its time for bed, just nods tiredly and rubs at his big blue eyes. 

It’s a little shocking to see all the bruises when they change him into his pajamas. Even though Harry was prepared for them it doesn’t stop him from letting out a little gasp at the sight. Because the sickly yellow, and purple, and green marks look particularly horrible against the stark white of his skin. Louis actually looks a little ill, but he doesn’t say anything until they’ve put Niall down and are crawling into their own bed for the night.

“I just don’t understand how anyone could ever do that to their own child.” He whispers, burying his face into the crook of Harry’s neck. “Like here we are praying for a baby, and some asshole is out there beating his to a pulp? How is that okay Harry? How does that make sense? The one thing in life you’re supposed to do is protect your children, and instead he abuses them.” Louis sniffles a little and Harry can feel hot tears on his collarbone. “That’s not okay, that’s not ever okay Harry.”

“I know love.” Harry sighs and stokes Louis hair. Because before Louis became a teacher he used to major in child psychology, but he really couldn’t handle it well. He hates it when people are hurt, especially children. It’s hard for Harry to understand as well, because what would make a father turn on his sons like that? To hit them, and starve them, and leave them on their own with no explanation. It’s not right, and it will never be right


	2. Chapter 2

When Harry wakes up Louis is already out of bed. He can hear noises in the kitchen and it takes a minute, but last nights events eventually come rushing back in a flood. Its a little after seven, and far too early for them to be up on a Saturday, but Harry forces himself up out of the bed anyway, and makes his way to the kitchen to figure out what’s going on. 

Niall is up sitting on a barstool at the counter eating a banana very seriously. His eyes land on Harry when he enters but he doesn’t stop or say anything just continues chewing slowly and watches Harry as he pours himself a cup of tea. 

“Morning love.” Says Louis, in far better spirits than he was last night. “Woke up early and I thought I’d get Mister Niall over here, something for   
breakfast.” Louis informs him taking a sip from his own tea.

From the pile of abandoned peels sitting at Nialls elbow, Harry can deduce what it was. 

“Four bananas? Very well balanced Lou.”

“He likes them!”

Niall just watches them bicker from his seat at the counter and finishes his banana. He’s just as cute as he was yesterday, hair ruffled from sleep, and cheeks a rosy pink from the well-heated flat. He looks smaller than yesterday, if that’s even possible, and yet very resigned. 

“Is that so, Mister Niall?” Harry questions the little boy curiously, resting his chin in his palm and his elbow on the counter. He receives a blank stare in response. 

“He’s not a very chatty one.” Lou says solemnly offering Niall yet another banana and grinning happily as the child accepts it and begins peeling. “But hopefully we can change all that.”

Niall ends up eating six bananas and puking on the couch approximately fifteen minutes later. 

He sobs profusely as Harry and Louis try to coo and soothe him but its to no avail. 

It breaks Harry’s heart a little, that Nialls first words to them are a mournful “I’m sorry.”

After a quick bathe he’s a little more relaxed, but still puffy eyed and pink cheeked. Louis asks what games Niall likes to play and what’s his favorite show on the telly, Niall just whispers “Greg.” So brokenly, that Harry thinks maybe they ought to call Eleanor because how could things possibly get any worse. 

Luckily though, he falls into a deep nap soon after that, huddled around his ratty bear on the tail end of the sofa, curled into a fetal position with his thumb firmly in his mouth. Louis looks absolutely drained and when Harry checks the time its only ten nineteen. 

When Eleanor arrives Niall is thankfully still sleeping, but they’ve moved him back to the spare room, and are working on cleaning the couch. She’s brought a large file with her, Niall’s records most likely and looks a little   
concerned when Louis fills her in on what a hectic morning they’ve had. 

“Yes, right, I did forget to mention that.”

“Mention what?”

“Niall will eat whatever you give, no matter when you give it to him. He’ll eat if he doesn’t like it, he’ll eat till he makes himself sick. It happens a lot with children who have never had enough to eat, because they never know when their next meal will be. It’s going to be best to put him on a very simple diet. Three square meals a day, small snacks in between.” She says it all very matter of factly, and thats what Harry thinks, sets Louis off. 

“And what do we do about the no-talking thing?” Louis questions incredulously “How do we know if he’s still hungry or something. How do we know if he needs to pee? He hasn’t peed since he’s been here!” Louis is starting to look a little hysterical as he paces around the flat, waving his hands wildly. “How am I supposed to know if I’m making him uncomfortable, or if he’s feeling nauseous if he just gives me that dead stare every time I ask him a question. Jesus Christ El! How can we take care of him if he doesn’t want us to?”

“He’s only a child Louis. And a neglected one at that. I’m sorry if all his social p's and q's aren’t exactly in order.“ Eleanor snaps back, shooting him a frustrated glare. “He’s just been ripped away from the only family he’s ever known and sacked with two grown men who don’t know better than to give a five year old six bananas for breakfast. If you really don’t think you can handle this I’ll just take him back now.” She looks disappointed in them, which hurts a little because he doesn’t want El to be upset. 

Louis looks thoroughly angry himself, but before he can respond there is a soft squeak from the hallway, and they all turn to see Niall standing there sleepily, clutching his ratty teddy and rubbing his eye with a fist. 

“Niall go ‘way?” His voice is so soft and thick Harry has to strain his ears to make out the muddled words. His hair is an absolute disaster and his clothes are all wrinkled from sleep, and he sounds so incredibley sad. Much sadder than any five year old should ever have to feel.

Eleanor swoops in on him before either of them can reply, cooing and lifting him up in her arms, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and bouncing him on her hip. She asks him how he slept and if he had good dreams and how his tummy was feeling. Niall just burries his face in the crook of her neck and must be murmuring soft response becsuse Eleanor ‘mhmms’ approvingly and rubs his back. 

“Do you think you can do me a favour love? Niall darling, do you think you can do Ellie a little favour.” At his short nodd, she continues. “You’re going to be staying here with Harry and Louis for a few days, like we talked about remember? They’re very nice Niall I promise, they’re my very, very good friends. They’re happy you’re here to visit them for Christmas, but it makes them very sad that you don’t want to talk to them. Could you talk to them please? For me?” She blows a rasperberry on his cheek and smiles in success when Niall nodds again in agreement. 

Louis looks a little miffed, but still impressed as Niall continues to mumur into her ear quietly before she puts him back down onto his feet and resumes clutching his teddy with a death tight grip. The toddler shifts a little in his sock clad feet before he murmurs a soft “Lo’ Harry, lo’ Louis” and ducks shyly behind Eleanor pant leg. 

Louis’s mouth quirks up into an absolutely delighted smile, and Harry knows that they’re goners.


End file.
